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And you're not really hoping that she talks about you in a good way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even saying negative things about you proclaims that she still cares. This is because talking badly about you is one of the signs she wants you back albeit it might be confusing at first. If she keeps talking about how much she hates you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this basically means that there is still an emotional connection there. When she stops caring about what you do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then that is the time when she really doesn't care about you. If she is affected by you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then the feelings are still there.
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Trying to get back with your girlfriend can be hard especially if you have no idea how to pursue the problem. If she was the one who broke it off and you didn't communicate since then, chances are you have no idea how you stand with her right now. Before trying to win her back,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you must first find out your chances of being successful. Following are some signs she wants you back that you can try watching out for.
Keep in mind that she is trying to get over you so someone else might get her if you act too slow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
If she wants to remain friend with you then this is another one of the signs she wants you back. There's a chance that your ex wants to reach out to you but confused on exactly how this can be done. What she's basically doing is paving the way for you to pursue her as it is awkward for the girl to be the one going after a guy. Hence, she wants you in her life again if she is showing signs of wanting to reconnect. By staying friends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she will be able to analyze the situation and see if the two of you are worth another shot. More importantly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you have to know what to do with those signs once you read signs she wants you back. If you still have feelings for her then act fast.
By Clay Andrews
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Also, feeling annoyed can simply be her frustrations in trying to get over you but can't. If the two of you see each other in public and she looks badly at you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that doesn't really mean that she hates you. It could be here effort to hide her emotions.
The fact is that your ex might try to hide the signs she wants you back for a long time but sooner or later, it will come out. Some girls even try to communicate with their ex and see how they are doing. She won't be able to stay away if she still has feelings for you. Even a simple text message could mean that she still wants to be part of your life. If you achieve something and she tells you how happy she is for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then there's still a chance for the two of you.
Although she will not be forward to you of her feelings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she will definitely be honest when talking to her friends. One of the most obvious signs she wants you back is if you are constantly the topic of her conversation with friends. If she casually mentions you in a conversation often then that means that you're in her mind often.
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There are a lot of hotline numbers you can dial. Surely,louboutin, there is a suicide prevention center within your locality. Take time to visit or call someone. They are always available to take your call and listen to your problems.
Discuss it with people you trust. Talk about your problems with a few people, such as those you really trust. It does not have to be a family member. This person is also the best one to approach when you need some guidance or protection. Perhaps you can request them to visit you once in a while. Most of all,toms outlet, share whatever feelings you have about a particular situation. The more you talk about them,ray ban pas cher, the more you will feel they are being unloaded. Sometimes you will just realize the negative emotions no longer matter that much.
Call a counselor. You can always talk to a friend or a family member about your personal issues, but when you want to end your life,hollister, the best person to talk to will be the counselors. They have been trained to handle crises such as this. They can provide you with all the types of help you are going to need.
I am a well-loved person.
I am capable of loving myself more,air jordan.
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I put a very high value over my life,hollister.
I am worthy of every love I am getting.
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Use subliminal messages. Subliminal messages can also be called affirmations or positive statements. When used correctly, these subliminal messages can help change your manner of thinking. You can alter something negative to something positive. Some of the subliminal messages you can try include the following:
You can repeat these subliminal messages or affirmations as many times as you can and on a regular basis. This means you may have to listen or speak of them every day. This is how you can get them into your subconscious and start modifying the way you think of yourself,ray ban.
Perhaps you already know that suicide is something you should never consider in your life. Your life is something you cannot take back once you are dead. Nevertheless, there are still thousands of people every day who choose to end their lives simply because they do not know how to deal with their emotions.
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By The Pioneer of Subliminal Messages Online.
If you find yourself thinking about suicide,hollister, you may want to take a pause first and read the following. It is not too late to get some help.
Know the root cause. One of the leading causes of suicide is depression. However, knowing that it is depression is not actually enough. There should be a reason behind that deep sorrow. It could be because you feel neglected or unwanted. Perhaps you have been ditched by the person that you love, or a family member or a friend suddenly passed away. When you know the root cause,ralph lauren, it becomes easier for you to determine the best courses of action to start stepping away from depression and suicidal thoughts.
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4) Organize and declutter your wardrobe, your living space and your mind. Unnecessary accumulation of material things and disorganization causes stress, so look to simplify your life, and appreciate the natural beauty around you. Determine to be honest and true to yourself and those around you- this will give you greater self respect and the respect of others.
1) First and foremost you have to like yourself, because how can other people like you and respond to you if you are constantly sending out negative vibes to them and the universe. You need to be your own best friend and give yourself an honest dispassionate assessment of yourself. Stand out of yourself and view from a distance, and make a list of positives (and trust me, there will be many),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and negatives also as you see them. If you have a trusted friend to help you, great ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], enlist their help. Do not stop until you have at least 30 positives. Read them over and over to yourself, praise yourself and let them sink in. Repeated positive affirmation will get through to your subconcious and change you belief system. Forgive yourself for indiscretions and mistakes-you are human, it is all learning, make amends where you can, forgive yourself and move on.
2) Listen to your mind and body and treat them with respect. Care for your body, do not abuse it in any way. Give it good food and exercise, and take the advice yourself that you would give a best friend that you love and care for. Feed your mind positive thoughts about yourself and your situation. Relax and meditate if you can. Binaural beats are a fast and effective route to complete peace and relaxation. Your perception and attitude is crucial. Happiness is often a decision to be happy, and just a different perception of the same circumstance. Your current thoughts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], feelings and attitudes are shaping your future as we speak,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so monitor them and do not nurture negative thoughts.
Wishing you much peace and happiness.
5) Do a little something that you fear each day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], perhaps just smile and talk to a new person and step out of your comfort zone a litle. Every little challenge that you meet and master will boost your confidence disproportionately. If you do struggle in social situations as many of us do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], consider trying Conversational Hypnosis which will quickly give you the skills to put people and yourself at ease, and build rapport quickly and easily. Each positive interaction with people will boost your confidence tremendously.
You need to understand that you are the sum of your memories and experiences to date. It is certainly true that we might all be much happier and positive, if we could erase our bad memories,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which are usually also causing our discomfort in the present and also our fears about the future. However all our experiences are about learning and therefore will be developmental and of some value for us at some level. So how can you move on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], taking your learning from the past and turning your future into a much more positive experience.
By Jonathan Roach
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Author's Bio:
3) Detach from regularly negative people, they will bring you down with them. You soak up enough negativity from the news,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you should detach from this also at least for a period if it is bringing you down.
You must be persistent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keep working on things, monitor your thoughts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and always remember the words in Desiderata which I love - "you are a beautiful and unique child of the Universe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and no less than the moon and the stars you have the right to be here!"
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So what’s a seeker to do? By accepting the reality of what a spiritual guide can and cannot offer, we need to take responsibility for seeing them not just at their highest, but in their imperfect humanness as well. Being a spiritual pragmatist, I always believe that if I take what I can use and leave the rest, (the old baby and the bathwater cliché)—I will be benefiting the most from any relationship I choose to enter into—in this area, as in all others.
"There are two paths leading to oneness with the Tao. The first in the path of acceptance. Affirm everyone and everything. Freely extend you goodwill and virtue in every direction, regardless of circumstances. Embrace all things as part of the Harmonious Oneness, and then you will begin to perceive it. The second path is that of denial. Recognize that everything you see and think is a falsehood, an illusion, a veil over the truth. Peel all the veils away, and you will arrive at the Oneness. Though these paths are entirely different,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they will deliver you to the same place: spontaneous awareness of the Great Oneness." Lao Tzu
So, if a spiritual teacher tries to sell you a sexual bill of goods by promising that your karma will be healed faster by engaging in sex with him or her or that you will get a “hit” of awakening from absorbing their energies or fluids which are chock full of “high-level chi” or taste like “ambrosial nectar”—Buyer Be Aware!
Yes, I’ve heard it all or at least a lot of it, personally as well as from helping deprogram many naïve and psychologically immature survivors of this type of manipulation. So, please know this: Choosing to take responsibility and consciously engage sexually with a spiritual teacher may help heal some of your “daddy” or “mommy” stuff and you may even get a good “hit” of some high-level psychic energy, but there’s usually quite a messy emotional price to pay in the aftermath. So, again, Buyer Be Aware.
Once I’m clear that a prospective spiritual guide has what I’m seeking, I’m willing to go to great lengths, in terms of investment of available time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], energy and resources, to access that next “missing piece” to round out my development.
"The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some superhuman accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being." Eckhart Tolle
Whether it’s from a Western or an Eastern belief system, the idea that there’s only one spiritual or religious path, lineage or teacher that can enlighten you or help you attain heaven or nirvana is a form of fundamentalism,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], regardless of whatever guise the seller is in. So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Buyer be Aware!”
If a teacher says that you can’t “make it” spiritually without him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], his teachings, path, or group—“Buyer be Aware!”
And, if you try to leave a teacher or group and are threatened with dire spiritual, karmic or other consequences—RUN! Then, be grateful that you have just escaped from a cult with your life and your sanity relatively intact. After this type of trauma, it’s a very good idea to get some objective help and support during a necessary period of deprogramming and recovery, especially if you’ve been deeply involved for a year or more.
Some Quotes on this subject:
What’s my definition of a spiritual teacher? Anyone who empowers us in healing karma and teaches spirit/mind/heart/body practices that help us along the path of awakening to our True Nature. Then, it’s up to each of us to integrate these teachings and levels of consciousness into our daily life and way of being in the world.
Ultimately,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we need to learn how to access, activate and embrace our “inner guru” or inner spiritual master and use ALL of life as the mirroring of this state of ownership of our innate divinity.
My criterion for choosing a teacher to study with—whether formally or informally—is that they must have something that I want and need and am lacking, in terms of it not being activated or developed yet in this life. Some of the things I’ve learned from teachers are: cosmic humor, going with the Flow, how to root and ground myself to the earth and feel fully embodied, and how to use my emotions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], thoughts and sensations mindfully as part of my spiritual path—to name a few.
This is not to say that there are not at least a few fully enlightened Beings on the planet at any given time. I won’t name names, but I have had direct experience with one such Being in India. He emanated a consistent presence of Voidness that was absolutely exhilarating, completely heart opening and a bit terrifying all at the same time. Not to mention that the wisdom of his teachings and energy has stayed with me and raised the bar of what I perceive as possible within a human incarnation.
Nirvana has four characteristic features:
My personal experiences with a wide range of spiritual teachers has been, on the whole, exceptionally fruitful in helping me heal karma within myself along different legs of my journey, as well as in accessing and integrating higher levels of consciousness into my normal operating mode of Being.
Here is the definitive teaching of the Buddha on this subject, called The Four Reliances:
For the majority of spiritual teachers, when they’re not in their highest transmitting function, they relapse into the unenlightened state. And this is where most students get confused, because they are unwilling to see the whole picture, (I call it “holding the split screen”), between the high states they experience when their teacher is in their spiritual role, and the rest of the time, when they’re just imperfect human beings playing out their karma like the rest of us.
Adding to this confusion, the spiritual marketplace is becoming overloaded with many so-called spiritual teachers who are selling their self-proclaimed enlightened state as a product or commodity. This means that prospective students need to use their discriminating awareness and give much time and thought before fully committing and surrendering to a particular teacher. Buyer be aware, to be sure!
Some of my teachers have come into my life in more informal roles: as mates, lovers, and friends, 12-step sponsors, psychotherapists, and mind/body healers of various modalities. Others whom I have studied with over many years on a more formal basis include those whose paths include: Taoism, Zen, Tantra, Sufism, Naada Yoga and Dzogchen.
And some final thoughts:
Go Back
The most important lesson that I’ve diligently maintained in my awareness with all the teachers I’ve studied with is that they’re imperfect human beings. This means that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just as we’re ALL at our absolute best when we’re doing our “thing,” so too are they at their absolute highest when they’re performing their spiritual function—myself included. Therefore, it’s essential that we take what we can use . . . and leave the rest.
The trap that many spiritual seekers fall into is in allowing themselves to becoming blinded by devotion, gratitude and, at times, feelings of unworthiness. Then the teacher is placed on an unrealistically high pedestal—which inevitably means that, sooner or later, these projected images of idealized divinity will come crashing down—usually on top of the deluded student’s head.
This pattern is so common that there is are multitude of on-line blogs in which ex-students vent and lament about how disappointed, disillusioned and devastated they feel with spiritual teachers who’ve let them down because they were—alas—only human. The resolution of this scenario tends to be very messy—as much of the anger and rage, at least in the early stages of deprogramming and detaching, is projected onto the fallen idol /teacher in question. Buyer be Aware, indeed.
"The biggest barrier to awakening is the belief that it is something rare. Now don’t think that awakening is the end. Awakening is the end of seeking, the end of the seeker, but it is the beginning of a life lived from your true nature." Adyashanti
1. A state of cessation of disturbing emotions from one’s mind.
2. Absolute peace, a state of total tranquility of disturbing emotions.
3. Exuberant satisfaction, which is free from all forms of dissatisfaction.
4. Definite emergence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when one will no longer relapse to an unenlightened state.
Spiritual teachers come in all shapes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sizes, colors and sexes—and many of the truly Great Ones will always choose to remain in disguise and anonymous while in a human incarnation.
And what about the issue of attaining enlightenment (or existing in nirvana or being “saved” so that one is guaranteed a ticket on the heaven express) when it comes to spiritual or religious leaders,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], teachers, advisors, gurus, lamas, and Rinpoches, etc?
In the Buddhist tradition, Nirvana is not some external divine place, but the purified state of consciousness in which we’re free of all negative emotions.
Author's Bio:
Rely on the message of the teacher, not on his personality;
Rely on the meaning, not just on the words;
Rely on the real meaning, not just the provisional one;
Rely on your wisdom mind, not on your ordinary, judgmental mind.
By Joan Pancoe, Spiritual Teacher
See all Articles by joan pancoeSee joan pancoe's Expert PageGet Updates on Consciousness and AwarenessGet Updates on joan pancoe Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
"Their function is to anchor the frequency of the new consciousness on this planet. I call them the frequency-holders. They are here to generate consciousness through the activities of daily life, through their interactions with others as well as through “just being.”
By this definition, most of the highest spiritual teachers that I’ve had direct experience with have attained the first three out of the above four characteristics. That means that when they’re teaching or giving direct transmissions they ARE at a level of consciousness that emanates a realized state of Being. And when one is in their presence one can definitely get a “hit” of this energy and it feels GOOD. The problem is that it can feel so blissful that one needs to watch out for an addictive hook of dependency that arises from the limiting belief that this bliss can only be gotten from this teacher and is not attainable on one’s own.
But these realized Beings tend to be relatively anonymous, hard to get to and usually not taking on new students. Although if you’re fortunate, you might be granted a darshan, or audience, to sit and receive a transmission of whatever emanates from their presence and words.
And, speaking of another sort of “very messy,” here’s a quote from the afterword of my memoir, Cosmic Sugar:
“Have you noticed how many perennially horny spiritual teachers are incapable of living by the standards they teach because of inner karmic demons they haven’t as yet exorcised? Still,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is possible to accept their imperfect humanness without rejecting their teachings which come from a higher aspect of their being. When we’re free from mental rigidity, the paradoxical nature of personality is full of entertainment value. At this stage in the evolution of consciousness, the majority of people on the planet, gurus included, are still bottoming out on their karmic ruts.”
"The world is full of half-enlightened masters. Overly clever, too "sensitive" to live in the real world, they surround themselves with selfish pleasures and bestow their grandiose teachings upon the unwary. Prematurely publicizing themselves, intent upon reaching some spiritual climax, they constantly sacrifice the truth and deviate from the Tao. What they really offer the world is their own confusion. The true master understands that enlightenment is not the end, but the means. Realizing that virtue is her goal, she accepts the long and often arduous cultivation that is necessary to attain it. She doesn't scheme to become a leader, but quietly shoulders whatever responsibilities fall to her. Unattached to her accomplishments, taking credit for nothing at all, she guides the whole world by guiding the individuals who come to her. She shares her divine energy with her students, encouraging them, creating trials to strengthen them, scolding them to awaken them, directing the streams of their lives toward the infinite ocean of the Tao."
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purchasing agents change quite frequently. That’s why it is important to keep watching every business in your territory for changes in decision-makers. LeslieBeth Wish,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],D. MSS The official guide to Family See all Articles by Dr LeslieBeth WishSee Dr LeslieBeth Wish's Expert PageGet Updates on FamilyGet Updates on Dr LeslieBeth Wish Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Q: How can I turn around my sexless marriage
A: Why would some couples remain celibate Isn't sex supposed to be part of the pleasures of love and marriage Yet approximately 10-15% of marriages may experience long stretches of time without sex A smaller number of couples never consummate the marriage Most of us assume that sex is a very important part of being a couple It forms one of the building blocks of lasting love The other building blocks include shared values and interests and commitment
But before you shake your head or raise your brow as you wonder why anyone would skip the sex part please keep this idea in mind: Every relationship is unique in its details and management of unhappiness As in Woody Allen's movie "Husbands and Wives" what one couple will not accept another agrees to incorporate in the relationship And if both parties are happy to remain celibate or tolerate long lapses then there is no relationship problem However problems arise when one partner is unhappy about the lack of sex There are many reasons for lack of sex Here is a list of the top reasons and solutions
1 Physical and health problems Low testosterone in both partners painful intercourse for the woman injuries cardiovascular disease and physical limitations are amongst the most common health reasons that couples have infrequent sex or none at all Solutions: I always counsel couples to begin with a physical examination to rule out medical reasons Seeing a doctor can help you avoid blame and anger Be sure to tell your physician about your sexual concerns A woman's painful intercourse for example can be caused by uterine or ovarian cysts or vaginal dryness due to hormone changes Post-menopausal women often experience a dip in their sexual desire This decrease is normal but you don't have to" live with it" Make sure you tell your physician about all your medications since they might have unexpected side effects
2 Mental health issues Depression anxieties phobias and other mood disorders can disrupt the desire for sex Depression is an especial spirit and soul robber I know that our culture still stigmatizes mental health problems but don't live your life for other people
Solutions: Get help now Make an appointment with a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication and treatment
3 Recent major stresses and lack of time Loss of loved ones changing or losing jobs relocating work deadlines or illness in family members are some of the top stressors that can put your sex life on hold These events require a great deal of emotional energy They seem to actually "take up space" in your brain and soon sex is the last thing on your mind Solutions: Don't despair There's most likely nothing "wrong with you" Even chronic stressors such as caring for an elderly parent can allow for intimate time But you have to make a commitment to including it Some of my clients for example promise not to let a month go by without sex Sit down with your partner and review your calendar to see where you can schedule sex Now some of you at this point might be rolling your eyes at the thought of planning sex You worry that it might take the fun out of it But the brain is a very flexible organ When it knows that sex is on the agenda it adapts very well Just heading for the bedroom or embracing passionately can be enough to signal the brain for sexual arousal
4 Religious beliefs Some people believe that sex is only for procreation and that avoiding sex is the only way to avoid pregnancy These ideas do seem like deal-breakers Yet if one of you is unhappy about the use of birth control or the lack of sex then you have to be stuck in "all or nothing" sex Solutions: Some couples with strong religious beliefs about sex engage in "everything but intercourse" sexual activities Talk to your partner about whether you each can accept different kinds of sexual expression Some of my clients had a "soul-talk" with each other and realized that they were good and religious people even though they didn't practice all the non-sexual tenets of their beliefs For example some did not go to church every week while others didn't celebrate every holiday or observe other parts of their religion Several of these couples after realizing that they had already made personal religious adjustments were then able to become more flexible about using birth control There is no right and wrong because your religious beliefs are very important and very personal If you and your partner cannot develop a satisfactory-enough solution seek pastoral counseling
5 Substance abuse Alcohol can impair sexual performance and illegal substances such as marijuana can dull the desire as well Don't take chances with your mental and physical health Keep a clean path for sexual pleasure
Solutions: Get used to having sexing without using substances Get help immediately or do an intervention whenever there is alcohol and drug addictions
6 Negative sexual experiences or feelings about sex A history of childhood sexual abuse or rape can seriously impair sexual desire and sexual comfort But you don't have to let the past completely affect your present
Solutions: Get professional help with someone who specializes in sexual trauma You don't have to suffer or live in fear
7 Lack of sexual satisfaction and performance Some couples forego sex because it is unsatisfying to them Men might struggle with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation Women might not be able to have orgasms or sexual desire Other couples might not have any of these problems but one of the partners does not like the other's sexual style or methods Solutions: Talk it out-with kindness If you are having performance issues then seek professional help from someone with advanced training in sexual matters If you don't like your partner's technique show your partner what you like Be kind don't criticize Make a game of it such as playing "School" where you teach each other what you like
8 Disrespectful or dangerous sexual behavior by a partner No one should put up with demeaning frightening or dangerous sexual demands You don't have to participate in your partner's sexual style of beatings suffocations drugs or any other behaviors that demean or hurt you Partners who are addicted to porn often ask their partners to fulfill their pornographic fantasies
Solutions: Avoiding sex to avoid harmful and hurtful behavior is not necessarily a bad idea You must protect yourself in any way you can However if you want to have healthy sex with your partner it can be very frightening to rock the relationship boat by complaining-especially if your partner has anger issues I strongly recommend that you go alone to consult with a professional who knows about domestic violence and sexual issue
9 Anger at your partner Anger is never a good ingredient for sexual pleasure If you and your partner are having disagreements or if your partner has emotionally hurt you it's easy for those feelings to turn you off to sex Many couples play out their relationship anger in the bedroom by withholding sex Don't make your bed your battleground Solutions: Work out productive solution-oriented skills Instead of getting trapped in playing an unproductive game of History where you review what you or your partner said or didn't say play it forward by moving directly to a solution And instead of fuming tell your partner that your feelings are hurt Speak up before you turn off sexually If you cannot manage these changes seek professional help from a couples counselor
10 Affairs or porn addictions Having an affair is a sure way to drain sexual desire from your existing relationship And few partners can or will participate in the sexual behaviors of pornography These issues are especially difficult to address since they have the power to break the relationship Yet at least a third of couples who have experienced affairs recover
Solutions: Once again seek counseling If you suspect an affair some couples hit the issue straight on while others focus on improving the relationship first Talk to a couples and marital expert and explore either alone or together to develop the best strategy Many affairs are symptoms of unhappiness and not the discovery of the love of your life
Copyright © 2012 QualityHealthcom All rights reserved Author's Bio: let's float back to reality and talk about Wealth Masters International. Sort of like those of you that are parents out there, look for the number of years the company has been in business.
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"When I was first diagnosed, I e-mailed a few friends to let them know. One friend who was not on my initial list e-mailed me to say, 'We're your friends in the bad times as well as the good!' After that, I gave my two closest friends permission to pass on my e-mail to anyone they felt it would help. The list grew over the next six months from fourteen to over two hundred. Discovering that people truly care about me was wonderful."
Deb Haggerty; diagnosed in 1999 at age 51;
professional speaker; Florida
"When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I took six months' leave of absence from my job. During this time, amid surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation treatments, I discovered my creative side. I began to write poetry."
Mary Platt; diagnosed in 1998 at age 47;
radiology supervisor; South Carolina
"What worked for me? Never ever, ever thinking I would not survive."
Eleanor Anbinder; diagnosed in 1991 at age 50;
sales manager; Massachusetts
Growing Bold
"The best thing I did after being diagnosed was not to cancel a planned bicycle trip. It did more for my optimism than anything else could have done. Same thing with attending a neighborhood party on the day I came home from the hospital. I refused to hole up in self-pity."
Judith Ormond; diagnosed in 1996 at age 49;
symphony musician -- piccolo; Wisconsin
"At the time of my diagnosis, there were several other women in town who'd had breast cancer. One of them was a good friend and tennis partner of mine. She called and gave me a lot of support and advice. This helped me tremendously."
Polly Briggs; diagnosed in 1987 at age 41;
secretary; Mississippi
"Treat your diagnosis as a business problem. Do research. Use the Internet, and go through literature at the hospital resource room. Feeling in control is pretty important, so begin with a notebook. The inside cover should have the name and telephone numbers of each of your caretakers (doctor, nurse, etc.) as they come on the scene. The notebook can be sectioned to keep track of doctors' appointments, definitions, outside advice, and so on."
Anne Jacobs; diagnosed in 1999 at age 62;
managing partner, real estate; Massachusetts
"My first oncologist asked whether I wanted to take treatment, since there was no guarantee that it would help. My husband and I left that doctor and found another who said, 'You have a one in eleven chance, and you might as well be that one.' His positive attitude lifted our spirits. A year later, when my treatment was done and he told us there was no sign of cancer, I thanked him for saving my life. His reply was that my positive attitude had made the difference. 'You knew you were going to get better, and you did,' he said. Attitude is so important on everyone's part."
Florence Chandler; diagnosed in 1995 at age 66;
retired motel owner; Florida
I listened. Then I hung up the phone and called my husband. Then I finished working out. In doing that, I was showing myself that I was healthy and strong, cancer and all. I needed to minimize the impact of what I'd learned...because just as a certain idealism had been lost when JFK was shot, so I knew that with a diagnosis of breast cancer, a part of my life was forever changed.
"My husband was at home when I got the news. Our children were racing in the door from school, and at the same time the radiologist on the phone was confirming to me that I had cancer. I hung up and felt swallowed in confusion. My kids were rifling through the cabinets looking for snacks, and my husband was looking at the terror on my face, knowing in his heart what had just been said on the phone without hearing a word. Our children were eight and ten, and we decided that they needed to know. I made appointments with their teachers and explained the circumstances. With four months left in the school year, I knew I would need their help and support. I felt like I was assembling a team to go to war; it was empowering to have people on my side. When it came to the kids, we took them through each step separately so as not to overwhelm them -- first surgery, then chemo, then radiation. Having information gave them the power to talk about the experience as we all went through it."
Cindy Fiedler; diagnosed in 1988 at age 40;
registered nurse, mom; Massachusetts
"My surgeon told me I had breast cancer at 5 P.M. on a Monday and gave me until noon the next day to decide between mastectomy and lumpectomy. I knew what a mastectomy was, but I knew nothing about a lumpectomy. Frantic, I called two of my girlfriends, each of whom had a friend who'd had breast cancer. Both of these women called me that night. They offered no opinions but did give me the knowledge I needed to make the right decision for me. They were absolutely wonderful with their support before, during, and after the surgery. They also helped me understand the process of radiation. This is a scary experience, Without their help, it would have been much more stressful."
Rose Marie Clark; diagnosed in 1996 at age 50;
retired; New York
"Twenty-one years ago, when I was diagnosed, many people recommended that I read a particular book on breast cancer. It happens that the author's husband had left her following her diagnosis. I remember thinking how depressing that was. My husband was there. He was worried about me, and I was worried about him, since he looked like he'd been kicked in the stomach. I never had to even think about his leaving. I knew I was more to him than a pair of breasts, and any woman with a strong relationship should know so, too. It helped him that a family friend whose wife had recently had a mastectomy made the effort to talk to him. Marty isn't one who easily verbalizes his feelings, but having a friend who'd been through it was good for him."
Lynne Rutenberg; diagnosed in 1980 at age 35;
retired teacher; New Jersey
"Be your own advocate. Do what feels right for you. Don't let anyone talk you into anything."
Rhonda Sorrell; diagnosed in 1998 at age 43;
special education teacher; Michigan
"I didn't make any decisions about treatment until my children and significant other had been told. We all went to the surgeon's office together the next day. My children were all in their twenties. The home care nurse and I gave one daughter a crash course in Nursing 101 so that she could change my dressings, and they all took turns driving me to my doctor appointments and treatment. This was a reassurance for them that nothing was being kept from them."
Becky Honeycutt; diagnosed in 1995 at age 53;
licensed practical nurse; Indiana
Uplift: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors By Barbara Delinsky
(Published by Washington Square Press; paperback $13.00US/$21.00CAN; 0-7434-3137-5).
"My husband, who is my best friend, took me for a walk in the woods the day I was told I had a malignancy in my breast. He knew that was where my spirit is most at peace."
Robin Smith; diagnosed in 2000 at age 53;
microbiologist, homemaker; New York
Where was I when I learned that I had breast cancer? You may as well ask where I was when I learned that JFK had been shot. I will never forget either answer.
"Sleep didn't come easy for me after my diagnosis. Instead of sleeping pills, my husband and I started having a glass of wine before bedtime to help me relax. Every night while we drank wine, we talked, we read to each other, and we played games. This became a special time together when we shared our feelings, fears, and hopes for the future."
Julie Crandall; diagnosed in 1998 at age 31;
stay-at-home mom; North Carolina
"Being a mother, wife, and nurse, I'd always been in the position of caring for everyone but myself. So I made an appointment with the social worker who was affiliated with the breast center I went to. Now, I must confess, I'm not one to share my feelings with a perfect stranger, but somehow I felt this was the healthiest thing to do. Though it was awkward and uncomfortable at first, I visited this social worker regularly. This helped me keep things in perspective. As time passed, I looked forward to our visits as a place where I could speak of what I feared or sing of my accomplishments."
Cindy Fiedler; diagnosed in 1998 at age 40;
registered nurse, mom; Massachusetts
By Barbara Delinsky
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"Take a little tape recorder with you when you have your initial consultations with the surgeon and oncologist. Even if you have a friend or family member with you, there is just too much information to remember. I was able to replay the tape for my mother and sister, and it helped to answer questions that I had later on. There is just too much emotion going on to have to rely on your memory for technical terms and procedures."
Deb Haney; diagnosed in 1996 at age 48;
administrative assistant, artist; Massachusetts
"I cried a lot during the two weeks between when I learned I had breast cancer and the day I had the surgery. Once all the decisions were made and the surgery done, though, I considered myself 'on the road to recovery,' and I was determined not to cry or feel sorry for myself. I've always been an optimistic person and was determined to continue being that way. I considered what was happening to my body to be a temporary condition."
Patti R. Martinez; diagnosed in 1999 at age 54;
realtor; California
"Take another person with you to your doctor appointments to act as your advocate. They can ask questions you forget to ask and can make sure things are well explained. Also, take a list of questions with you, so you don't forget to ask the doctor something important. I know a woman who used to fax her questions in advance to her oncologist. Tape recorders are good for remembering the answers."
Sharon Irons Strempski; diagnosed in 1997 at age 52;
registered nurse; Connecticut
"A breast cancer diagnosis can be terrifying, especially because there is a lot of waiting -- waiting for the mammogram results, waiting for the biopsy results, waiting to talk to the surgeon and plastic surgeon, and then waiting for the surgery. All this waiting can lead to a lot of stress and anxiety! Slow, desperate, and out of control were the feelings I was experiencing. It didn't take me long to realize that I had to take control or I would lose control. I believe the single most powerful thing I did to get through my breast cancer diagnosis was to concentrate on truly living and enjoying every day. For me this meant simply keeping very busy, doing things I enjoyed doing. The last thing I needed was time on my own. I took every opportunity I could to simply be with people -- anybody and everybody. By forcing myself to be out in the world, surrounded by others, I was forced to look beyond myself. And did I ever keep busy! My husband and I took long bike rides, we went to the mall, we went out to eat, we went away every weekend -- to the beach, to the mountains, anywhere, while we waited. It sounds so simple, but by keeping busy and active, I was reminding myself that life does go on. I did not feel ill; I felt good and healthy and alive. It was liberating to feel in control of my actions and my mind."
Julie Crandall; diagnosed in 1998 at age 31;
stay-at-home mom,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; North Carolina
"I strongly recommend to anyone newly diagnosed that they join a clinical trials study. It is like having the undivided attention of a complete support system at all times."
Jacki Anthony; diagnosed in 1998 at age 48;
nurse; Massachusetts
"The first thing I did when the doctor told me I had breast cancer was to sit down, since I was weak in the knees, then to get a pen and paper. As an educator I needed to get it all in print, to get it right. That served to calm me immediately."
Christine Foutris,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; diagnosed in 1999 at age 49,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
teacher; Illinois
"If a needle wire localization is being done before biopsy or lumpectomy, ask if it can be done in the supine position. Most modern breast centers can do this. I had to sit up for the first round, only minutes before my lumpectomy. Between the discomfort of the procedure and anticipating surgery afterward, I passed out cold! My surgery was canceled, and I had to return for it a week later. The second time went much better. It was easier being able to lie down."
Donna Barnett; diagnosed in 1999 at age 40;
registered nurse; California
"When you're first diagnosed, you may find yourself reading books, watching videos, getting more and more information on your options. The important thing to remember is that you need to make the decision that's best for you. No one else can tell you that what you have decided to do is wrong, because there is no wrong, if this is what you want."
Glenda Chance; diagnosed in 2000 at age 38;
homemaker, mother, and wife; Ohio
"Realize that a diagnosis of cancer does not mean instant doom. You have time to investigate, reflect, get several opinions, and make careful decisions. Tell yourself this every morning, and tell everyone around you to keep telling it back to you."
Susan Stamberg; diagnosed in 1986 at age 48;
broadcast journalist; Washington, D.C.
"On the day of my diagnosis, I phoned a friend who had gone through breast cancer three years before. She was very busy with work, but she gave me the time I needed. She told me that until I determined what my treatment should be, I would feel that I was totally out of control, but that once the decision was made, it would feel like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders. She was correct. I will always remember her last words. I said that I appreciated her time and long pep talk, and she said, 'You know, this is therapy for me, too.' "
Caroline C. Hudnall; diagnosed in 1992 at age 55;
retired legal tech in the Supreme Court of Alaska; Montana
"Everyone handles traumatic situations differently. What is right for one can be wrong for another. I did everything I could not to dwell on my situation. I chose my doctors, got a second opinion, contacted the National Cancer Institute for the latest information, then I left it at that. A friend mailed me a book she had painstakingly highlighted to make the information she thought I needed more accessible -- I never read it. People sent me articles, which I never read. I dressed up for every appointment, so my doctors and nurses would see what I looked like well and consider me a person who would be well. I was not in denial about having had breast cancer. Whenever I had a chance, I mentioned it to people. That was the promise I had made, the 'bargain' for my life...that I would spread the word that women had breast cancer and lived."
Jane Vaughan; diagnosed in 1991 at age 53;
writer; Texas
In the case of JFK, I was in college, returning to my dormitory after class to find the television on in the dorm living room and my friends gathered around it. I remember feeling total disbelief -- that what had happened couldn't be so. It had nothing to do with political affiliation and everything to do with youth, vigor, and Camelot.
"My mother and my husband were with me at every doctor's appointment after my diagnosis. My mom kept a spiral notebook with her at all times to take notes. When we went for the first consultation to discuss the results of the pathology report, my mother had written down all the words that could possibly describe a tumor. When the doctor began, Mom just started circling words. This helped all of us to concentrate on what the doctor was saying. It was also helpful when reviewing later and doing research."
Jennifer Wersal; diagnosed in 2000 at age 30;
marketing; Texas
"The most constructive thing I did when I learned my diagnosis was to continue to write out the invitations to my daughter's wedding shower."
Frances Gallello; diagnosed in 2000 at age 51;
mental health assistant; New York
"Form a phone tree. Then you only have to give an update to one person. Otherwise, the phone rings off the hook!"
Stephanie King;
friend of two survivors; New York
Copyright © 2001 Barbara Delinsky Charitable Foundation for Breast Cancer Research
"After my diagnosis, my dear friend and neighbor, Diane,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], came to the rescue. Because my husband and I were numb and couldn't 'hear,' Diane went with us to see three surgeons, a radiation oncologist, and a reconstructive surgeon. She took notes, and we discussed my options later. One surgeon also taped our consultation. I suggest to others that they take a tape recorder to all appointments, plus a 'Diane' -- someone who loves you but can distance themselves."
Marianne Rennie; diagnosed in 1988 at age 39;
cancer information specialist; Ohio
"When I woke up after a lumpectomy and learned that I had breast cancer, I was in shock. To show how little I knew, when my husband was visiting and offered me a sip from his drink, I declined, saying that we didn't know if he could catch cancer from my germs. After he left, I picked up a book that a friend had left. Opening it at random, my eyes caught the words, 'A cancerous cell is, in fact, a weak and confused cell.' That made both of us, I thought, and laughed heartily."
Carol Pasternak; diagnosed in 1986 at age 47;
artist; Ontario, Canada
Helpful Little Tricks
"When I was first diagnosed, a friend suggested I keep a journal of everything that was happening to me -- what the doctor said, when and what the treatments were, and so on. I began doing that but found it to be too consuming. I was a pretty well-informed patient, and I didn't think I needed to concentrate on my cancer this way. Instead, I decided to keep a 'grateful journal.' Every day I wrote down five things that I was grateful for. Granted, some days it was difficult to meet that goal, but every day for nine months I wrote something. It was such a positive exercise during a difficult time in my life. When I read those journals now, they lift my spirits."
Susan Kowalski; diagnosed in 1997 at age 50;
college executive staff assistant; New York
"How much do you really want to know? Be honest with yourself. Once you have the answer and know what your learning style is, find a survivor who is a match with you."
Kathy Weaver-Stark; diagnosed in 1991 at age 46;
insurance adjuster, instructor; Oregon
"One strange thing. I cried when I was first diagnosed and never cried after that. Now, I cry at so many touching things. I feel that it's okay and healthy to do this. But I don't cry for myself. Not ever."
Sheila Roper; diagnosed in 1995 at age 57;
homemaker; New Hampshire
"When I was first diagnosed, I wanted information immediately. I wanted to know which treatment plan was right for me. I rushed out and purchased the largest book on breast cancer I could find and read it twice. I sought the advice of trusted family, friends, doctors, and breast cancer survivors. I made sure I was equipped with the best possible information, so that I could be my own best advocate."
Corinne Wood; diagnosed in 1997 at age 42;
Lieutenant Governor; Illinois
On Diagnosis
First Things First
"When I was first diagnosed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I knew pretty much nothing about breast cancer -- except that I didn't want it! By learning everything I could, I started to calm down, sort things out, and actively make decisions. Knowledge is power. It definitely makes you feel a little bit more in control of your life."
Deborah Lambert; diagnosed in 2000 at age 47;
medical secretary; Massachusetts
Attitude Indeed . . .
Author's Bio:
"When I awoke in the hospital after my mastectomy, the operating room nurse sat by my bed. A breast cancer survivor herself, she had been sent by my surgeon. Her advice was, 'When you need something from someone, ask.' My generation of women was taught to 'suffer silently,' not to complain or impose. An hour or so later, my husband called from his office a few blocks away to see how I was doing. I told him that I needed him, and he came immediately. Before the nurse's advice, I would have told my husband that I was okay -- and then been miserable. Her advice has improved everything in my life!"
Jane Vaughan; diagnosed in 1991 at age 53;
writer; Texas
Finding Early Support
"At no other time in your life will you have so much power and control over your own destiny; choose your health team well."
Kathy Weaver-Stark; diagnosed in 1991 at age 46;
insurance adjuster, instructor; Oregon
"Remember to thank your healthcare team as you navigate through the system of treatment. You would be surprised how much they worry about you as they plan your course of treatment."
Kathy Weaver-Stark; diagnosed in 1991 at age 46;
insurance adjuster, instructor; Oregon
"I have always tried to live and eat healthily. Still, I found a lump in my breast. I had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. Since I am the mother of two daughters and have two granddaughters, I participated in a clinical study. I thought that if my participation could help at least one other person, it would all be worth while."
Nancy Ellis; diagnosed in 2000 at age 53;
quality technician; New York
Making Decisions
"Get a second opinion if you are unhappy with the first one. Do some reading, and speak up for what you want."
Mary Raffol; diagnosed in 1998 at age 44;
teacher; Massachusetts
"In deciding which option was best for me, I felt like I was looking at a Chinese menu. But what I found most comforting was that no matter who I talked to or what her own decision was, each felt confident of her decision even years later. Women even offered to show me their breasts. The idea of going to work without a bra began to sound pretty good."
Kathi Ward; diagnosed in 1994 at age 47;
merchandiser; South Carolina
"Write all your questions down before your doctor's appointment. Make sure your doctor listens to you and doesn't talk down to you. If necessary, change doctors until you get the right one."
Ellen Beth Simon; diagnosed in 1998 at age 41;
lawyer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; New Jersey
"I would have loved to talk with someone about all of this before I had surgery and treatment. The worst part was my imagination. I worried myself to death with chemotherapy horror stories. But it's a lot like pregnancy; it's livable, doable."
Joy West; diagnosed in 2000 at 34;
advertising account coordinator; South Carolina
"If you think that something isn't right or hasn't been answered or resolved to your satisfaction, hang in there until you are satisfied -- at every step of the way! When I had doubts about the way a technician was setting me up for radiation, I asked that he not work with me in the future. My request was respected. That was important."
Anne Jacobs; diagnosed in 1999 at age 62;
managing partner, real estate; Massachusetts
"I refused to go back to the first radiation oncologist I saw, because he made me feel like a piece of meat. The second one was very sensitive to my feelings. He made a note on my radiation card that no male techs were to take care of me, and the female techs made of point of being busy with other things while I was undressing, thus making me feel less exposed. You have to speak up for yourself and let people know what your comfort levels are."
Sharon Irons Strempski; diagnosed in 1997 at age 52;
registered nurse; Connecticut
"Knowledge is power. The more educated you become, the less frightening the unknown is. Read, read, and read more. It helps!"
Cathy Hanlon; diagnosed in 2000 at age 42;
school researcher; New York
In the case of breast cancer, I felt no disbelief. I was working out in the basement of our home when my surgeon called to say that the results of my biopsy were in and that the tiny little granules she had removed from my breast were malignant. She told you that on the phone? Indeed, she did. It was just the right thing for me, and she knew it. She and I had been through biopsies together before. She knew that my mother had had breast cancer and that I'd been expecting it. She knew that the best approach to take with me would be the understated one. What she actually said was, "You've spent a lifetime waiting for the other shoe to fall, and now that it has, it's a very small shoe. The cure rate for this is ninety-nine-point-five percent. Here is what I recommend . . ."
"My husband says that he got most of his comfort from me, because he felt that I was in control both of my disease and of the day-to-day workings of our lives. That was my goal -- to keep everything at home operating as usual. The most constructive thing I did after hearing my diagnosis was to personally tell every friend, relative, neighbor, and co-worker of my diagnosis. As time passed, I kept everyone up to date with all the details, so that there would be no mystery or misunderstanding."
Deborah J,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].P. Schur,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; diagnosed in 1994 at age 43;
sales rep; Massachusetts
"The mammography technician who helped prep me for biopsy surgery was so kind that I have requested she do my mammograms each time I have gone back for follow-ups. As a result, she and I have become friends."
Jeanne Sturdevant; diagnosed in 1990 at age 45;
artist; Texas
"Seven years ago, when I got my cancer diagnosis, I fell apart. I had no one to tell, my children were away at college, and I was by myself in the hills of Kentucky. I remember driving into the driveway and going straight to the barn to see my animals. My main concern was who was going to take care of them if I could not? My animals were the reason I was living in the county. They were part of my family. I went to visit a neighbor who was ninety-three years old at the time, and I had all the intentions of telling her what was wrong. When I walked in her house, though, she spoke before me. 'You know,' she said, 'some days God gives us a heavy load to carry, and we must do the best we can to tote it.' My neighbor died the following Sunday, and I still remember what she said. This is my eighth year since the diagnosis. My life has changed, and I have met wonderful people whom I would not have otherwise known."
Antonia Rhodes; diagnosed in 1993 at age 50;
Breast Cancer Outreach person; New York
"When I was diagnosed, I had just retired, and we had many plans for things to do. I found that continuing to work on those plans helped me to realize that this was just a bump in the road."
Monetta Lockey; diagnosed in 1997 at age 59;
retired teacher; Texas
"The four words that I live by: This too shall pass."
Suzanne Almond; diagnosed in 1996 at age 60;
secretary to the Special Services Director; New Hampshire
"Research everything about your disease. Ask questions. The ultimate decisions are yours to make. If you do your homework, you will feel that you have done the best for yourself and, ultimately, for all those who love and depend on you."
Christine Webber; diagnosed in 1998 at age 55;
registered nurse; Illinois
"When my doctor told me that I had breast cancer, I had a good cry. Then I decided that I wanted to live and would do everything necessary to achieve that goal."
Sandy Mark; diagnosed in 1998 at age 55;
administrative assistant; Connecticut
"Even after my diagnosis, I went on a Caribbean cruise as planned. I continued with my regular schedule as soon as possible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], seeing as many friends and relatives as possible so that they would know I was alive and well."
Carol Hattler; diagnosed in 1999 at age 65;
retired nurse; Virginia
I was shaky as I climbed back up the stairs -- and what had me most frightened wasn't the prospect of having a re-excision and radiation. It was phoning our three sons, who were in three different states, in college and law school at the time. I went about making dinner, a crucial same-old same-old,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as I put through those calls, and as I talked with each son I had the first of many cancer experiences that weren't nearly as bad as I'd imagined. "Curable" was the word I stressed. My confidence was contagious.
"We had gotten two kittens a few weeks before I learned I had cancer. They were confined to the guest bedroom. Whenever I was feeling down, I would go in and lie on the bed with them. They would climb all over me, cheering me into a better mood. My husband referred to my going in there as 'opening a can of kittens.'"
Jeanne Sturdevant; diagnosed in 1990 at age 45;
artist; Texas
"One of the very first things I did, after the words 'cancer' and 'radiation' were mentioned, was to get down to the local library to see what radiation entailed."
Deb Haney,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; diagnosed in 1996 at age 48;
administrative assistant, artist; Massachusetts
"From the beginning, set your mind on one thought: I will beat this. It will not beat me."
Susan Schultz; diagnosed in 1990 at age 41;
special education teacher's aide; New York
"I never hid my diagnosis. I cannot stress enough the importance of being open. It is amazing how many people will be there for you. The support of others is one of the greatest healers around."
Dee Pobjoy; diagnosed in 1999 at age 41;
sales clerk; Wisconsin
"I was devastated when I got the diagnosis of cancer. I'd had my mammogram faithfully every year. I went home to prepare dinner in a sort of shock. As I stood at the stove I worried about what was going to happen and how I could handle it. Then, suddenly, a feeling of calm and peace came over me, and an inner voice said, 'You will be all right.' >From that moment on, I knew I would survive."
Wendy Golab; diagnosed in 2000 at age 63;
nurse; Connecticut
"During the diagnosis phase, go to a fertility clinic for advice if you desire to have children after treatment for breast cancer."
Alexandra Koffman; diagnosed in 1997 at age 40;
registered nurse; Massachusetts
"The hardest part of the whole mess was deciding what I wanted to do. I struggled with the decision-making process. Finally a dear, sweet lady said, 'Do your homework, make a decision, and don't look back. You can deal with whatever is up ahead when you get to it.' She was right."
Mitzi Scarborough; diagnosed in 1999 at age 37;
childcare provider; Arkansas
"I became bold enough to leave my first surgeon and radiation oncologist, because I didn't feel comfortable putting my life in their hands. At least, I still had some power."
Kathi Ward; diagnosed in 1994 at age 47;
merchandiser; South Carolina
"Try to attend lectures on breast cancer. All major hospitals have these programs. Just call the community relations director. Attend lectures on the side effects of treatment and the importance of good nutrition."
Ellen Beth Simon; diagnosed in 1998 at age 41;
lawyer; New Jersey
"Being diagnosed at twenty-four, married, and taking care of a two-year-old can be overwhelming for anyone. Not me! When I found out I had cancer, I did not think I was going to die. I was just going to face the facts and beat this to the end, and that I did."
Candice Jaeger; diagnosed in 2000 at age 24;
wife, mother; Illinois
"When I went to appointments after the diagnosis, I always had two or three of the children with me and sometimes all of them. They had so many questions to ask and also wanted to make sure I understood all the doctor was saying. After a while, I went alone with just my husband. When the doctor came in and saw only the two of us, he started hunting in all the closets and cupboards and finally said, 'Okay, where are they hiding?' We got a big chuckle out of that."
Sally Martel; diagnosed in 1996 at age 60;
wife, mother, retired accountant; New Hampshire, Florida
"One year ago I was diagnosed
My life turned upside down
How do I feel about that?
I don't know.
Happy to be alive
I would be dead
If not for the check-up
How do I feel about that?
Grateful."
Cheryl Wilkinson; diagnosed in 1999 at age 45;
fast food; Ohio
"My feeling when I learned my diagnosis was, 'Why me? I have been a good person and had such a nasty marriage, and things are finally good in my world. Why now?' I was scared and cried in the parking lot. My boyfriend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jerry, held me tightly and kept reassuring me that my cancer was curable. After surgery, the cards and phone calls were not to be believed. My bosses sent flowers and two huge live lobsters, which I loved!"
Sharon Daniels; diagnosed in 2000 at age 49;
hairstylist, wig store owner; Massachusetts
"When I was diagnosed, I kept three bits of advice in mind. First, stay in control. Second, be informed. Third, keep a positive outlook. After my surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation, I add a fourth to the list. Be proud to be a survivor."
Helen Ann Kelly; diagnosed in 1996 at age 43;
teacher; New Hampshire
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This is absolutely critical to do. So many salespeople cold call or cold email companies without considering the needs of the company. This is a highly ineffective approach to take. What you should do is undergo a detailed analysis of the needs of the company and then determine how that fits with the product you are selling. You might discover that the company has no real need for your product because they just implemented something similar from a different company. If you know this ahead of time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you don’t need to waste your time and you can focus on other companies. There are companies that maintain a large database with up-to-date information on the latest initiatives within major companies. Use those resources to help you learn as much as possible. If there are any resources out there that can help you learn as much about your potential clients as possible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should take full advantage of them.
Learn About Your Potential Client Company’s Initiatives and Needs
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Being a salesperson for any industry can be very difficult. Even if you have a natural charisma and very outgoing personality, you are not guaranteed any success as a salesperson. You might,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], have a low quality product that you are selling or there might be some other factors that are out of your control that can make your job especially tough. With that being said, there are certain steps you can take to become better at your job and improve your chances of success. This article will go through specific steps you can take to become better at sales. Armed with this information, you should be able to outreach to more potential clients and simultaneously increase your sales conversion rate.
Develop an Overly Positive Attitude
Author's Bio:
Learn About Your Potential Client Contact
You should learn as much as possible about the person you are trying to approach. Determine the answers to questions like “what are his responsibilities?” “what is his purchasing power?” “who does he report to?” “where did he go to school?” Any and all information you can learn about the person will give you a leg up on the process and put you in a position to succeed. It’s human nature to be more receptive to someone who clearly has done research and knows a lot about you. Certain companies maintain this information and have it available for public use. Take advantage of these resources. Cold calling and cold emailing can be a painful process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but if you learn as much as you can about the company and your potential client,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can be a lot more successful. Armed with this information,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should be able to fine-tune and tailor your sales pitch to the specific person/company. If you can do this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will become much more efficient and effective in your job.
Assuming you have researched your client thoroughly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you then need to have an overly positive attitude when making your pitch. People can’t help but feel your enthusiasm when you are overly positive. Even if you aren’t successful in a pitch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to maintain a great attitude at all times. It is certainly no coincidence that the best salesmen tend to be very positive and never frame things that happen to them in negative terms. There are several ways to go about developing a positive attitude,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so find a method that you think would work for you and do it. If you can do extensive research before you make your pitch and then develop your pitch with enthusiasm,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should start seeing great results and improvement in your job.
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The concept we offer is refined from our almost 40 years of shared knowledge. Knowledge we have gained through study,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], research, clinical practice, and personal life experience. Through our book we suggest a simple, easily understood explanation of why we are the way we are, and offer effective tools to change that if we choose. Please understand this is not a religious work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a spiritual work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or a metaphysical work. It is a work in practicality.
If you find your ultimate center,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or ego,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or you make peace with your inner child, what do you do then? What’s next? Is that all there is? Are you finished? Do you just stand around with a self-satisfied grin on your face while the entire universe revolves around you? We don’t think so. Einstein spoke of the human entity as being like sparks of energy at the intersections on the great spider web of the cosmos.
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The SEA
What’s in a name? Other than the letters S-E-A being the initials of the system we are discussing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we chose the sea as an analogy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and refer to it because of the inherent symbolism and significance the sea offers to humanity. The system of Subliminal Expectation and Anxiety we will explain here is also important to humanity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and becoming aware of it determines our ability to create a joyful and abundant reality.
It is critical that we understand the SEA is not something we should try to challenge or try to remove. The SEA is not an enemy we must conquer. It is a necessary and organic part of our personal energy that should be understood. It is the energy field that drives our creativity through our expectations. You may have heard someone say ‘You get what you expect.’ Or ‘What we give energy to, or pay attention to, we create.’ Our goal is to learn how to analyze and adjust our SEA so all of its programming is positive. Once all of our expectations are positive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and we live a life without anxiety,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we can achieve absolute knowing. It is in our moments of absolute knowing that instant creation happens.
Our understanding is that without the SEA we would remain just sparks of energy on the web. There are some people who may say the supreme goal of our existence is to return to being a singular point of energy in the universe, and perhaps that is a possibility someday. At this time however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the operation of the SEA suggests that our current common reality requires dynamic creation. When we understand and adjust our SEA to support absolute knowing, it becomes our most powerful means of positive creation. If we live our lives in ignorance of the workings of the SEA, it is our major cause of distress.
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Managing Content across an Enterprise
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By George White
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Streamlining documentation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], forms,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and workflow processes
Collecting data using browser-compatible forms
Customizing workflows to specific projects using SharePoint Designer
Collaboration
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Strengthening exercises help increase muscle strength. Strong muscles help to support the joints, making the joints more stable, and helping a person move more easily and with less pain. The two types of strengthening exercises are isometric and isotonic.

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Basic education is that thing which furnishes one’s brain and makes one enriched with fruitful knowledge’s. Schools are basically established for spreading a veil of enlightenment over the world and gives its shed to all the humans for spending their whole life under it. One is nothing without proper education. Education makes you able to raise your voice against something wrong and prior to that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it makes you able to make differentiation between right and wrong. If you are not having knowledge regarding any issues of the world then how it can be possible for you to make a right decision over something. Cochin’s nursery schools and other schools including play schools are facilitated with excellent facilities. Schools like international schools and residential schools which are under ICSE or CBSE board are having more than two computer labs which are also well equipped and internet facilities are all there for the use of teachers and students. The administrative of these schools are well upgraded. These changes are the results of carrying well-improved and well-developed schedules and contents for pulling the status of education up. Apart from computer lab facilities all these schools situated at Cochin have met with wide range of playgrounds for the use of children. Children are not supposed to be stick to one thing for a long time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they need variation in each seconds,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so due to this purpose various kinds of playing stuffs and playing halls are also built for them. All these newly invented and installed facilities can easily be available at Cochin based schools.
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Cochin is the luckiest city that it could become the part of this respected city in India. Cochin had come up with many schools that have been successfully established with the purpose of delivering the message of knowledge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], knowledge and knowledge. Knowledge is the main source of living life happily. Schools like play schools,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then other schools as in residential schools, international schools and then public and kindergarten schools as if schools are with exotic facilities built up. Teachers or educators in all these schools are highly qualified and most importantly there are well experienced and skilled at educating children with proper educative materials.
By Niti Sharma
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Cochin is a part of Kerala city where education is their main purpose, education needs people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and people need education. Both are the integral part of each other. Education cannot live without being delivered and one of the basic needs of human is education. Both are made for each other. In earlier days there used to be saints to deliver education,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nowadays we find big institutes which are consisted with educators and who have devoted their life to make this world knowledgeable and full of knowledge’s. What is this knowledge all about? Knowledge is nothing but achieving and being acquainted with the correct,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], perfect, and right perceptions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], conceptions, instructions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], suggestions, and thoughts of life to lead the life. Lit the bulb of one’s house where knowledge can make its dwelling and can give one all the right directions of life.
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